Just some views from Cindy's last entry here,
"Life is short, play hard!" Remember the Nike motto?
Anyway life to me is really short, cos u never know in the next second or minute what will happen.
I only come to understand this when my parents are starting to fall sick.
As years pass, now I am 24 going to 25, I dread b'day and New Year. Why? Not becos I am getting older in age, but I know the time I get to spend with parents are getting lesser. Lately I started to wonder, will my mom or my dad still with me for the next New Year or B'day? I started to fear...
Prayers to God, what I wanna pray for is just the same as what Cindy pray and hope for.
This had been a stressful and busy week for me, no signs of festive mood at all. Busy with my SEED prgme, my ECD committee, my CCA n SYF... But ... i know I can pull it through, cos no matter how bad your day can be, it wil still be over, a NEW n FRESH day awaiting for me to welcome!
I once suffered from mild
deperession, I get depressed easily in the past, then the thought of ending my life ever occurred in my mind. I can't take stress but I got an expectation with whatever I am doing, and the fear of losing to
myself often caused me to create more stress and pressure. Couldn't sleep in the nite, or kept tearing when alone or at night, no appetite and nothing can be done properly. In the day i am perfectly normal but when it comes to night time or when i am alone, i started to fear and felt depressed, feels tt
I am being abandoned. Then I will start to think in a very -ve way, why must i go thru all these?
Y must it be ME?
During tt period of time, I am fortunate tt my family and close frens were with me, giving me all the support i need. Dad was so worried I may become "siao", he kept waking up in the middle of nite to check on me, when he returns from work, the 1st qn he ask :"how long u been doing ur revision? did u rest?" A simple qn like this makes me feel tt i must work even harder! Close frens will call me and check how I m getting on, assurring to me I am not slacking... when i feel like crying in the middle of the nite, i called them n they entertain my call... but after calling them, I felt much better.
So frens, anything on ur mind tt made u feel worried, sad or unhappy or unbalance, pour it all out! U sure feel better.poor mom, I have grown up but she still worry for me... she is worried I cant wake up in time, I cannot finish marking the books and get a scolding from HOD, not enough time to rest, will i be ok if i m coming home late (she realli stayed up to wait for me to come home sometimes...). Dad is great too, haha but i think I took him for granted, chauffeur me to school in the morning if he is at home, fetch me back from sch when i call him.
Parents nag of cos, but for the best of us,
words might be harsh but love is there...try
looking things at a different angle, things will definitely be different and the unhappiness in u will go away ....
Actually I m having probs with my CCA, I believe I gonna get a scolding from my P or VP the moment i step into sch today, keep our fingers crossed, pray for me.... haha... *scared*